I’ve got a
date this weekend! Number 2 gave me a call this morning. In less than 4 minutes
flat the ‘gentle giant’ arranged that we meet this Saturday at 17:00 at a
coffee shop. I am sad to report that I have no new information, except that he
has a pleasant voice.
So, I have
desperately been trying to find Number 2 on Facebook. Unfortunately, he has an
Afrikaans name equivalent to the English ‘John’. No luck. I don’t like not
knowing anything else about Number 2. If it were up to me I would have liked
meeting him on Saturday knowing where he went to school, what mutual
interests we have and to have formed an opinion on the attractiveness of his ex.
Then it
dawned on me: if I could Facestalk my dates, they could Facestalk me!! Even
worse though is that I don’t have the most everyday name in the world. I searched
it; there is only one Jeanine Stoffberg on the entire Facebook…
This got me
thinking and Googling: “How can I see what my timeline looks like to
other people?”
Lo and behold, you
can see what your timeline looks like to other people by using the View
As tool on Facebook.
- Go to your timeline and click and click on the dropdown menu next to 'Activity log' (on the right, below your cover photo).
- You’ll see what your profile looks to the public.
You’re
welcome!
Ladies,
what I saw shocked me. Why hadn’t I thought about checking this before?
I have some
good privacy settings going on Facebook, so a potential date or serial killer
won’t be able to view my posts or photo’s but he will see some basics.
I have mentioned before that telling someone you study
theology is a turn-off, right? Well, imagine stumbling onto my current profile…
(I need to add a little ‘disclaimer’ here. For a long time I
was a church outsider. I thought of Christians as pretentious and last year I
had some real difficulty finding my feet in the church so in an attempt to win
the adoration of my fellow believers I went through a phase… It seems as if my Jesus-loving
transparency has overflowed onto my Facebook profile and… it’s bad.)
- Cover photo
My cover photo is of me waving my
arms in the air during worship at Passion Pretoria earlier this year… Chris
Tomlin the background. Dear Lord, aren’t I just the good wholesome girl?
- Profile picture
My profile picture is me with a
motorcycle helmet on, peering around a curtain and grinning like an idiot…
which I realize now… I am! I don’t even own or like motorcycles and I am not
really into curtains or interior décor.
 |
| What was I thinking? |
- “About me” section
Here’s a section of Facebook that
I haven’t looked at in a few years. For me, it’s a whole row of stars. Nothing
says you are an adult like ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★
- My quotes…
In case you missed the fact that
I am currently studying theology, you will be confronted by Exodus 9:16 and a
Helen Keller quote. I can just imagine how interesting I must seem at this
point.
- Religious view
As if saying Christian is not
enough I have added Psalm 103:1 there. Now, I have read some peculiar things
here on some of my friends’ profiles. Anything from “Follower of Jesus” to
lengthy sentences (borderline paragraph) explaining how you don't have a
religion, you have a relationship. Oh, don’t forget the keyboard Jesus
fish… <><
- Interests and likes
This is the place where you tell
the world what makes you special and unique. I’m afraid it doesn’t get better
here. I have actually listed Jesus Christ as an interest and of course my
favourite books include the Bible… It just screams diverse and interesting
person, right?
While Facestalking some of my friends who study theology
with me, I saw they have even added ‘Biblical Hebrew’ and ‘Ancient Greek’ to
their languages. Their profile pictures are of mission trips – each trying to
out-Christian the next by the amount of kids surrounding them and their cover
photos include anything from crosses, Jesus fish, praying hands, Bibles,
hearts, stars, scripture and church logos.
Is it a Christian thing or only a theology student thing? It
appears I have been part of it, though. Is it because we are scared that any
real Christian will see right through to your worldliness? Ha!
Should every part of your profile information include
religious stuff? It feels fake – as if you want to make every Christian give you
double-takes. No, I am definitely not ashamed to proclaim I’m a Christian and I
do see some really astonishing possibilities for using Facebook as a tool for
ministry… but I think I have gone too far.
Your life should be the testimony, right? Not your Facebook
profile. Here is what I
think: the societal rules about what we may do with information we encounter on
Facebook are still being written; until they are, be careful. It may be that
you will offend people even as you seek to help them. I realized that I
don’t have to minister to my friends on Facebook through my interests and other
profile information because nothing can supplement real flesh and blood contact
with the people you are seeking to serve. Facebook just allows me one more way
of interacting with them - not forcing my opinions on people but building
meaningful relationships through which they might have an encounter with
Christ. To me, the best way to do that is by being real and honest – something
you will not be able to see when viewing my Facebook profile as an outsider. Thing
is, if I am totally honest, I probably wouldn’t want to meet ‘me’ after looking
at my profile. It seems fake, boring and way too ‘holy’.
So, it’s time for change! My sister and I will be taking
some new and current profile pictures while I review my Facebook profile.
It’s a lot of pressure to make a good first impression. What
kind of profile picture will be the right one? There are some scary examples
out there. I do know that I will try to avoid these, though:
The Glamour Shot
This shot has many
versions. From the I-hired-a-professional-photographer shots to the
Don’t-miss-my-lovely-lady-lumps-and-oversized-sunglasses shot and the ever
popular pouting-duckface shots. Why people? Why?
The Mirror Self-Portrait.
Also known as the I-have-no-friends-so-need-to-shoot-this-myself-in-the-BATHROOM
shot.
No. Don’t do this.
Ever!
And so the over thinking has begun. If I look too dressed up
in my pictures will I appear high-maintenance? Should I use a full-body shot or a photo that shows my
face? Should I use a filter on Instagram or should I keep it natural?
I’m thinking my profile picture should be attractive but not
too fashionable, approachable but individual, universal yet specific to me. Ah
yes, I love knowing exactly what I want…
Cheers to some self-evaluation and presenting myself more
like a book you would actually pick up to read!
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