Oh behave!

Please don’t ever subject yourself to a “behavioural specialist” or "life coach". Or for that matter anyone who tells you that they speak three languages: English, Afrikaans and Subconscious…

Last Thursday I met up with a ‘life coach’ as part of my complimentary, obligation free session I was offered at our previous social. I use the inverted commas because basically you can ‘qualify’ yourself in this field. There is no supervisory body or universal standard of practice or training, so, in reality, anyone can call themselves a life coach.

After my ‘life coach’ explained that a life coach is someone who helps people help themselves we began our session with her explaining that her office was to be thought of as a “safe space” and a “neutral area where there are no wrongs and rights”. Oh, what had I agreed to?

Next she started asking me some basic questions regarding my view of success, balance and obstacles. When she asked me what I thought my biggest problem or obstacle was regarding my interaction with others and I told her that I thought it was my inability to properly deal with criticism. I really suck with criticism. Generally, if people say something negative about me, I want to stab them. I generally think that I am right most of the time… As you can see, I have a major ego problem as well. Anyway, biggest problem: criticism. And then we got started...

Some people call it Valentine's Day - I call it thanks-for-reminding-me-that-my-life-sucks!

Ah, Valentines Day. I find it amusing that a day that is supposed to be all about love can conjure so much hatred inside of me. Yes, it is because I’m single. Still single.

Call it whatever you want, Valentines Day, Singles Awareness Day or Forever Alone Day, this day comes every year 14 February and to be single on it sucks. Don’t try to fool me with all that ‘I’m so content and free’ crap. Not on Valentine’s Day. This is a day where even a cute angelic depiction of Cupid wants me yelling: "Get the hell away from me - you useless, flying, half naked, midget bastard!" Yes, I have some rage issues.

Being single on this day, February 14, means you’re way more single than you are on February 13 or February 15. Like, way more. Now, there’s a lot more you can do than cry, eat ice cream, and feel bad for yourself.

Last year, I got extremely drunk and passed out in a parking lot. Not good. So, this year I decided that I needed a plan. 

She's just not that into you...

I don't like rejecting people. It's pretty bad. This dating thing is hard.

I’ve only been on two dates now but the last date made me realize that when we date we put so much on the line. We put ourselves out there – our emotions, our hearts, our hopes.

Number 2 sent me an SMS yesterday. He would like to have dinner some time. Yes, a second date.

Crap! Now I’m thinking ‘was I too friendly?’ and ‘how could he have misinterpreted my closed body language?’

I sought advice. My dad suggested I just go on the date but be frank about the fact that he really shouldn’t expect more from me. My sister then added I should definitely go because it means a free meal... 

Do you understand why I don’t usually go to my family for advice on relationships?