Some Freudian discussion

Firstly, if you are wondering what is going on with the dating… I called the owner yesterday to report back on the date with Number 1. This gave us the opportunity to fine-tune what I’m looking for. More fun, less baldness. She now wants to introduce me to what she calls “a gentle giant”. The 1.96m, 35 year old Chartered accountant from Pretoria who loves wildlife and playing the stock market… Interesting. I will keep you posted on Number 2!

Yesterday, I went back to university after a week long holiday. But it was also my parents’ wedding anniversary. They have now been married for 29 years. My mom jokingly added that you don’t even get that for murder. Ha!

I’ve learned a lot from their marriage – I’ve gained wisdom and understanding from their mistakes, I’ve seen how laughter and friendship make for beautiful romance and I’ve learned that marriage really is like the saying goes ‘a union between two good forgivers’. I have great respect for the things my parents have overcome. God has truly blessed me with superb parents and I am so grateful for this last year to have had the opportunity to start rebuilding our relationship. More on that on another day.

I was talking to a friend yesterday when the Freudian topic of discussion, ‘are you looking for someone like your dad’, came up. Now, I think my father is one of the greatest men I’ve ever known. Although I am of course biased, I can assure you I’m not overselling him. He’s smart, he’s beyond hilarious (sometimes), and he can braai a steak like no other. But, he is also brutally honest, controlling, angry and like me, short tempered and set in our own ways. We have had our ups and downs.

Growing up, my dad was always trying to prepare me for life. He was always trying to teach me skills I would need to survive in the real world. These included hunting, using a knife, patrolling the area at night to keep the neighbourhood safe (yes, really) or changing a tyre. You know, typical father and daughter stuff.

If you live in South Africa, you will know how terrifying it can be if your alarm system is set off at night. I live alone and I am really scared of the dark, so when my alarm was set off last night and the security company didn’t show up – who did I call? Yes, my dad.

He of course pitched less than 5 minutes later in his bakkie. Imagine this: No shirt. No shoes. Only shorts and a shotgun. Oh, and my dad is a ginger!

Needless to say he patrolled the house like an ex-army pro and checked the traps (yes, home made explosive traps) at various places around my house. Even though my dad won’t admit it, I’ve always had this sneaky suspicion that he had been part of some secret army operation… After we discovered the problem in the garage, I activated the alarm system and went back to bed.

The alarm was set off again in the early morning hours. Again, I could not activate it from the safety of my room. I saw the security company at the gate but they did not enter to patrol the yard. I didn’t blame them - my dad had made sure the ‘traps’ were activated – and there was a 'trap' just outside the gate. I didn’t want to wake my dad for the second time in one night so I lay in bed with a deactivated alarm. I felt safe though, secure in the knowledge that I would awaken if someone really did try to break in. I thought to myself that an explosion is sure to wake up all the neighbours within a 2km radius and as I slowly drifted back to sleep I knew that my crazy dad was just 5 minutes away.

I’ve read the evidence that suggests some of us are attracted to partners who resemble our parents, but I’m telling you now. You are going to search a long time before you find anyone like my dad. God bless him. I realized two things: 1. my mom was lucky and 2. I can still learn a lot from these two.

Cheers to marriage and parents that inspire their kids. They are scarce, but they do exist!