My date with Number 1

I know you are waiting on the edge of your seat to hear how today went. Yes? No?

So, Number 1 is actually much better looking than on the shaky Skype video with and unreliable audio. First, some basics about the date:

We decided to meet at a restaurant at a casino close to where I live. He was late and tired of standing around like some idiot checking my Facebook I decided to sit at the fountain with a huge statue of David and his Free Willy. Glorious moment.

Number 1 eventually pitched and we made our way to a restaurant. We were scrunched into the corner as there was a group of loud-mouthed girls celebrating a bachelorette party. Yes, thank you very much for that one, world. But, we sourced some coffee and got to the chat. The date lasted just over an hour and a half and it really was not bad, except it really wasn’t that good.

And now, I give you a breakdown of the pains:

1. The dress code

I was dressed in a jean with a very attractive top and pumps. I even had jewellery on – if you know me, this is an incredible achievement. He showed up in shorts and sandals. The attention to detail was amazing.

2. The conversation

Every girl who has ever picked up the Cosmopolitan knows to keep the conversation light during the first date and never to talk about your ex. Well, we didn’t talk about our ex’s but the conversation was mostly about religion, politics and the economy. You know, light conversation. No personal information was shared. No talking about dreams in life. Nothing fabulous. It really felt like a business meeting.

3. No such thing as ‘sacrifices’, only choices

According to Number 1, who seemed very eager to get into a serious debate about this issue no person ever makes a sacrifice. People only make choices. I hate idiotic statements like these and I won’t waste my time or yours to spend any time explaining the many problems I have with this statement.

I did learn a random Chartered Accountant fact: according to a study he did, 70 cents of every rand goes to tax. I just didn’t feel that “spark”. All I could think about was who I could set him up with.

I am going to be so clichéd right now, but I honestly believe that you need to see if you're compatible. No one would define a good relationship as simply

being together. I’m not talking about both of us supporting the Blue Bulls, but he should at least watch rugby. I love hunting and everything that goes along with it. I even own my own compound bow. Dating a vegetarian is not going to work.

My verdict on Number 1 then: it’s not going to work. He reminds me of an engineering student I used to date a long time ago. The relationship was all intellectual. Debating hard issues, discussing the political situation in South Africa, exchanging books - but no fun. Number 1 is just… number 1 in my minimum of 10 dates. I am definitely not his ‘rib’.

I’ll just keep praying for my future husband. Did your church also have the “pray for your future spouse” talk? I was 15 years old when my Sunday school teacher said that if we hadn’t already started praying, God probably wasn’t going to bless us with a spouse. Yes. Really. I think that conversation had a lot to do with my being out of the church for a long time. People sometimes have no idea what power words can have on a 15 year old girl.

Guess I’ll still be praying then for now. As well as my mom. I don’t have unrealistic expectations. I know I can’t pray for my future husband to remain safe, innocent, and pure while I spent my early 20s making a disaster of my life. I’m just praying for there to be a future husband.

So my first date wasn’t a success. I’m left asking the same questions as I was asking right after giving dating a brief shot after my last serious relationship. Why can't we all be like characters in romantic comedies? Why can’t dating be as easy as it was for Adam and Eve? This time, however, I won’t give up.

Got home and sent him a message thanking him for the date. No reply. Then I checked Facebook only to find one of my younger friends got engaged. Again, thanks for that, world. I studied these friends of mine on Facebook and I realized that I am in awe of my friends. I look at what they’ve accomplished in the 20-25 years they have been alive and truly I am impressed. I know that if they haven’t done it yet I know they will.  Do you guys know what I’m talking about?

Except, they won’t be going on a minimum of 9 more dates…

Cheers to me! The search continues…