Let the adventure begin!

So, I have been single now for over a year and a half. At first I did the whole feminist thing. "I think, therefore I'm single” and “All men are useless, scumbag liars”. The next phase was one of absolutely loving my singleness. Having the bed to myself, not brushing my teeth for entire weekends, eating way too much and buying a dog. Slowly but surely, reality caught up with me.

We have this Bible study group at my church for ‘young working people’ aged 20-40. This combines university students, single adults, recovering divorcees and a grand total of ONE married couple. Let’s call a spade a spade. We are a singles ministry.

We have two problems with this ministry at the moment:

1. The minister leading the singles ministry at our church is in a relationship
2. We won’t admit that we are a singles ministry. We have a bad case of denial.

All this in the wake of people getting engaged – have people got the fever or what? My Facebook profile can’t go two consecutive days without a small reminder that someone has gotten engaged, has married or is shacking up and popping out babies. They are dropping like flies.

Now, you don’t have to be a genius to start deducing that:

1. The previously single men are now not available anymore
2. Us single people are becoming an endangered species

This explains why they 43 year olds are still coming to the ‘young working people’ group. However, we do use this time wisely for the purposes of good in God’s plan. We have heard the “you’re single, you’ve got so much free time” card being thrown in our faces and we do amazing work.

Thing is, we are single. We are all looking for someone special in our lives and we have all heard “God will provide, if you just be patient”, “In God’s timing” and even throwing 1 Corinthians 13 in our faces “Remember, love is patient”. Yes, thank you. I know. But what are we to do? Will Mr. Right just magically pop-up on a Friday night at my house with his confession of love? No. Do I stand a chance against the other girls in our group should a new man walk in on a Tuesday night at our church group? No. I have unfortunately seen the fights, the gossiping and the desperate clawing towards fresh meat. Will Mr. Right sit next to me in the pew on Sunday and be amazed by my gift of song? No. What do I do then?

I am a thorough believer in the saying “God helps those who help themselves”. And after months of discussion, FBI style Googling and prayer I have come up with ‘The social experiment’.

I am so sick and tired of hearing the following:

1. “Maybe you need to focus on being more like a Proverbs 31 woman” or “you should take this time to focus on you”

Ah, yes. I love working on my wife-ability meter or to practice just in case I do get married and have children.

2. “I just don’t understand how someone as great as you isn’t married yet”

Is that even really a compliment?

3. “Paul was never married” or better yet, “maybe you are blessed with Paul’s gift of loneliness”

When someone asks for prayer for a job because they've been out of work for 2 years, no one says, "Maybe you're meant to be jobless for the rest of your life" or “maybe you have the gift of unemployment". I also recall that “it’s not good for man to be alone” Bible verse here.

4. If you stop looking for love you’ll find it.

I just love this logic. This is the same as telling the sickly “maybe when you stop asking for health, you will receive it”

I am going to do something about this. I am going where none of my fellow church going single friends have gone before. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. Before I tell you what I’m going to do, let me first tell you what I won’t be doing.

1. I won’t end up the crazy cat lady. I hate cats. I’ll do dogs, or tortoises or pigeons if I have to. Just. No. Cats.

2. I won’t start forwarding those blasted chain letters in the hopes that the universe will somehow magically substitute my lack of a dating life for Mr. Right.

3. I won’t be joining an online dating site. Why? Because I am not as daft as to really expect to be matched to someone just like me by simply answering a bunch of questions about myself. Dating site algorithms and formulas can’t possibly claim perfect compatibility. Besides I would be worried about other people seeing my profile picture splashed all over the dating sites. Now, of course, I was tempted. Who wouldn’t want to meet someone from the comfort of your own home stuffing your face with left-over pizza in your PJ’s? I could really quite enjoy eliminating the obvious losers, like those with bad grammar. I would feel empowered, like some reality television judge.

I will be asking God daily for direction and confirmation, but I’m back in the dating game. The social experiment has officially kicked off. I have joined… an elite introductions dating service. More on this later.

It has been nearly 6 years since I last went on a date. Stay tuned in folks - this is going to be interesting.

Let the adventure begin!