My date with Number 3

I woke up yesterday morning for my date with Number 3 and my body had decided that it had turned into a snot-producing-super-machine. It was ugly.

I dosed myself with every type of flu medicine I had at my disposal, determined not to cancel 3 hours before a date and set off. Number 3 had suggested that we have a ‘breakfast date’ at a coffee shop. Coffee dates are what the dating service recommends. No alcohol involved, low cost, ability to excuse yourself early etc.

I was sitting outside the coffee shop and I quickly reflected on the few facts the dating service had given me on Number 3:

He is 34 years old.

He has never been married.

He works as an electrical engineer. He has a Masters degree.

He likes biking, symphony orchestras and Cinema Nouveau.

I really had no expectation of this date to be anything but sheer hell. I was imagining myself having to excuse myself every 5 minutes to blow my nose, snot dripping down my face and coughing over his breakfast. Not a pretty picture.

And then he arrived. My first impressions were that he looked a lot like a guy I used to date… also an engineer. He had a full head of hair! FINALLY!!! But he was skinny as a rake. Dear Lord, did this man ever eat?

As we were seated he started the conversation. I had some real difficulty hearing him. The snot-producing-super-machine was now in ‘let’s move to her ears’ mode. I apologized for being sick and he laughed, saying I had guts to come out in such bad shape. We laughed.

We have a lot in common and the conversation was very easy with no awkward silences. If only he had some more meat on those bones! Damn, he is really skinny. I have to admit that I am a chubby-chaser. I like the thought of a man who will be able to hold me in his arms (without feeling his bones) and who will be able to keep me warm. You need body fat to keep yourself warm, never mind someone else.

As we approached the end of the date, waiting for the bill I thought to myself: This was a good date. Breakfast was good, conversation was stimulating and personalities are a match. He then suggested that we get together after my exams and go watch a show (we both like Jazz and Afrikaans theatre). Whoohoo!

He paid and pushed the mints to my side explaining that he didn’t eat sweets. Ah, that explains his skinniness. I’ll have to work on that.

So, having no expectations for the date was definitely a plus. I was so stressed about being sick that I completely forgot about first-date stress. I think the dating service is staring to get together a better picture of what suits my personality. I would like to see Number 3 again… now I guess the stress starts, wondering if he also felt the date went good. Guess I’ll find out soon enough.

Driving back I was thinking that in my earlier years I have definitely thought that the absence of loneliness is one of the conditions of happiness. I have assumed that people can't be happy until everything is perfect in our lives, which means no more loneliness. This past year, with its many challenges and new friends have taught me that this is definitely not the case.

Last night, still sick as a dog, me and a few of my church friends went to celebrate a friend’s birthday at a very fancy restaurant. We had a blast. The conversation easily transitioned between light jokes and serious in depth revelations. These were true friends.

As I was sitting there and quietly observing these people I so admire I realized that they are all happy. When your life is lousy or you do not feel too good about yourself, you look for external things to validate you – with them, this is not so. Life was perfect for those few hours we spent together.

Time spent with good friends is exactly what I needed.

For now, I am moving dating to the side for a while. Exams are here, people!!

So cheers to good friends, skinny guys and me hopefully passing Greek!